The Story of Peggy & Dave ~ The Call of Duty

We had only been married for six months when Dave was drafted into the Army. I remember the time leading up to his departure, I was very sad that he was going to be away for a couple of months.  Not only was I going to be missing my husband, but being in the Army also posed the possibility that he could be shipped off to Vietnam. I had known people from high school who went to Vietnam and never came home. So of course I was concerned that Dave might have to go as well. 

Dave's father Henry, and step-mother Lynne, suggested that I come live with them during his time at boot camp. After thinking it over, we decided to put our things in storage and have me stay with Henry and Lynne while he was in boot camp. Living with them allowed us to save money, and Dave knew I would be in good hands and very well taken care of. It was a very good living situation and allowed us to get to know each other better. I was very taken care of and had the opportunity to live in a comfortable life style. Once before I had experienced that in my life when my mother sent my sister Pat and I to live in Miami with my Aunt Veronica and Uncle Eddie. She was a beautiful woman who was a runway model before she married Uncle Eddie. He was a marine pilot, and truly and outstanding man. They were loving to each other and to us, and we were always taken care of. On both accounts, I experienced living abundantly and living in very happy and peaceful environment. There was an abundance of love and and abundance of money. Very different than what I had been accustomed to at home.

Living with my in-laws was a good distraction to missing Dave, and I learned how to live a good life. Henry taught me much about money and how to best manage it, as well as living with integrity, honesty and good solid ethics. Lynne taught me how to enjoy the finer things in life. She always dressed impeccably and was the epitome of a woman of grace and elegance. Between Lynne and my Aunt Veronica, I learned so much about style, grace, elegance and beauty. They were very strong mentors in my life, as was my father-in-law.  I am who I am today as a result of my time with them. 

Time seemed to pass quickly and then Dave and I were together again.  He was to be stationed at Sandia Base in Albuquerque, New Mexico. After a two week break and time with his folks in St. Louis, it was time to make our way to New Mexico. So we packed our things from storage on to a U-Haul trailer, which we towed, and drove to New Mexico. It was a very long drive from St. Louis to New Mexico and by the time we arrived at Albuquerque it was dusk and seemed like we drove onto the moon. Quite spooky really. In daylight it appeared as a big desert with a city plopped right in the middle. We were a long way from home! 

Dave was the pharmacist at Sandia Base Hospital and ended up staying at Sandia for his entire tour of duty in the Army. Whew...no Vietnam! As it turns out, we ended up staying in Albuquerque after he was out of the Army for total of five and a half years.  More to say about that later.

The Story of Peggy & Dave ~ Our Wedding

The legacy of Peggy and Dave begins. 

Both of us were Catholic, therefore we got married at a Catholic church.  I had attended St. Mary's since I was a young girl, in fact that is where I received my first communion and confirmation. St. Mary's Church was 100 years old when Dave and I got married. The church is gorgeous and very quaint. To have our marriage vows sealed at St. Mary's Church held a very special place in my heart

My family did not have much in the way of money, so it was a homespun wedding with a polish touch. Yes, we had a polka band and all. Keep in mind I am not polish, but Dave was. My mother thought it was a nice touch. A few of the women in the community got together to help plan our wedding. We rented a hall and transformed it into a wedding reception. Quite the experience, and very precious indeed! 

When the polka music started, I was fair game. I had a money purse that as I danced people would stuff cash or checks into it. I just remember being swirled around like one of those rag dolls. I went with it and quite frankly had a great time.

We spent our honeymoon in the very beautiful Wisconsin Dells. Okay, it's not the hot spot of the world, but to us it was and we had great time. What stands out the most is the quality of our time together. It really didn't matter what we did or where we spent it. 

As I reflect on these times, I am moved by how simple and precious those moments were in my life.  And if I had to do it all over again, I would not change a thing. It was perfect!  Writing this blog about the early part of our story brings up sweet memories and gratitude. I am grateful for our time together and for our two daughters. Such a blessing! And now, our three grandsons, the blessing continues and our legacy continues through time.

I have been very successful with my life and have moved on if you will, but as I write this, I am seeing that I have never really recounted any of these times when speaking about my relationship with Dave. Along with the joy and sweetness, I am also experiencing a sense loss and sadness that I have not felt before. After Dave died, I got busy with raising my family and taking care of our lives. There was no time to grieve or sit and ponder these moments. Perhaps it does take time to let things settle before you can address any of it...time that no one can define for you. Dave's passing was a defining moment in all of our lives, and for me I have grown in strength and in character. These are the matters of the heart, and to my heart I am true. 

The Story of Peggy & Dave ~ A few fond memories

One of my fondest memories with Dave took place "down by the river." His backyard backed up to the Fox river where there was a wooden bench at the river side. One day we were sitting together on the bench and I asked him if he loved me, to which he replied more than you know. He said, I love you so much I would do anything for you. " I said, "anything"..."yes, anything, he replied." "Would you jump into the river for me?" And with that, he leapt to his feet and ran to the edge of the water, shed his watch, belt and wallet and jumped in. Small act with a lasting impression! 

We went fishing in Wisconsin one summer, and throughout the day Dave would jump into the water to get refreshed. We had brought a air mattress along with us, so I pumped air into it and threw it out of the boat so that I could sun bathe and float around as we were drifting. Once I was on the air mattress, Dave got back in the boat. A little bit later, I noticed frogs showing up at the scene. Well, it wasn't long before I was surrounded by frogs, in fact they made their way onto the air mattress. Now what! I was tense and freaking out and could not figure out how to get back into the boat without making further contact with the frogs. Dave thought it was hilarious, I found no humor in it. After he collected himself, he tried to get me back in the boat but I was to freaked out that I couldn't manage it, so he paddled us back to shore, with me in tow, shushing frogs away. What a scene that was. One of the longest rides of my life! Looking back, it was pretty hilarious.

And one of the crowning memories I have, is when Dave proposed to me. We were driving to Arlington Heights were he had moved in with a couple of college buddies. Just before arriving at his house, he pulled his MGB over and said he wanted to talk with me about something. He appeared nervous and then he spoke the words..."Peggy, will you marry me?" It came as a surprise, because he gave no indication that he was ready for marriage. We had been dating for two years at that point. We got along great and definitely were in-love. He presented me with the ring and then asked me again, to which I replied--YES! I was so excited. I couldn't wait to call my mother. Then we called his father and step-mother to give them the good news. Everyone loved the idea of us being together and were ecstatic that we were going to be married.  

The Story of Peggy & Dave ~ Where it all started

It was the summer of 1967, I was 18 years old, naive and somewhat timid, and I was looking for a job. I thought it would be a glamorous job to work with cosmetics at May's Drug Store. I felt fairly confidant that I would be a good fit for the job. Somehow I thought that career would lead me to a life of beauty. In fact, it played a small part later down the road when I developed The Mastery of Great Looks Seminars. 

Dave was the chief pharmacist and assistant manager for May's and it turned out he was the person that would interview me for the cosmetic counter assistant manager position. There he was standing behind the counter in his white pharmacist jacket, looking quite confident, and quite handsome. He was charming and I was nervous as hell. What added to my pressure was the fact that my mother insisted on standing there with me. She was quite taken by Dave. I turned to her and said "why don't you come back in about 45 minutes, I will be fine here." She wasn't real fond of the idea, but respected my wishes and left me to interview.

What I remember most about the interview was Dave standing at the counter facing me with his hands crossed behind his back watching me fill out the paperwork. I looked up from time to time and found him smiling at me. No words were expressed, just and exchange of smiles. It did not cross my mind that he was flirting with me. I was so naive and focused on getting the job. After he reviewed my application, he asked "why should  I hire you," to which I replied "well...I am a hard worker, and very interested in the beauty business and dedicated to doing a great job." He said "I can see that in you. When can you start?" "Right away" I said. 

Dave came by everyday to collect the cash from the register for his daily run to the bank, as one of his duties was to balance the books and make the store deposits.  At first I was a bit shy when he would come by and then as I got to know him better I felt more comfortable to be myself. Marie was the counter cosmetic manager, a very charming mid to late 50s woman. She would tell me she felt Dave was flirting with me and she thought he would ask me out soon.  I felt she was right, but I didn't feel confidant to admit it.  Dave lived an hour away in Fox River Grove, and would often come back to the store in the evening to buy ice, of all things, and would always stop by to see me if I were working late. In fact, he knew my schedule because every week Marie provided him with our schedules. He was quite a flirt and very funny, and very handsome.

One day he asked me if I would like to be trained on the books. Sure, I said, I would like to keep learning different skills. So every day one of my duties was to learn how to balance the books for the store. This took place in the back of the pharmacy and Dave and I would sit together as he showed me the system and trained me on the books. I looked forward to doing this everyday, especially the time I would get to spend with Dave. There was no "hanky-panky" going on, just a whole lot of flirting from both of us. 

And then the day came when he asked me to be his date at a party. I was flattered, yes I said!  It was great. He took care of me the whole time and introduced me as his girlfriend. There were several of his college buddies at the party and his brother showed up as well. I must admit I felt a bit overwhelmed by the attention I was receiving from everyone. But also felt very good that I was with Dave and that he made the statement that I was his "girlfriend." Very cherished and sweet moments were these first few encounters.  I never had a question in my heart about him, it was always a big yes. And I loved how I felt with him, I was cherished and made to feel beautiful. It was an innocent and sweet time in my life.

The Story of Peggy & Dave ~ Laying the Foundation

Everyone has a story to tell about their life, this is one story in my life that played a significant role in who I have become.

This story is a reflection of transformation, love, strength of character, and living a courageous life. Writing this story is is something I have been longing to do for sometime.  I hope that Kim and Nichole, my two amazing daughters, find healing for themselves in reading it. I am very grateful for my experiences and for having Dave as my husband and the father of our children. In fact, I feel that our relationship has been a miracle in so many ways in my life, and in the lives of my daughters.

The story did not end when Dave ended his life sevens years after we got married. It was the beginning of a new life for Peggy, Kim and Nichole. Losing Dave was a tragedy in our lives, however he has never left our hearts. My daughters have been successful in maintaining a strong connection with their father. It is inspiring to see how they have managed to keep him present and a part of their life.

We are never given more than we can handle. I adapted that mentality and had faith that after Dave died, Kim, Nichole and I would not only survive, but we would thrive with a great life--and we have! This is not to say that we always had an easy go of it, in fact there were many challenges along the way. But what I found during those trials and challenges, was my strength and ability to face whatever came along. My daughters and I stood together and have a profound love and respect for one another.  One day in one of our family meetings, we created our family mission, which we had posted on our refrigerator to keep us present to our mission. Here is what we created...

Family Mission

We respect each other

We have unconditional love for each other

We are true to ourselves and to each other

We have fun

We live in balance with our body, heart, mind and spirit

We have faith in God and trust in each other

We take care of ourselves and each other

We speak well of each other and of others around us

We reflect our mission and contribute to others

Our family unit is a safe place to be ourselves

Our environment is nurturing, clean and well managed

We live with dignity and respect

We give thanks to God for all that we have and for all that we are

~ Peggy, Kim and Nichole Scott, 1987 ~

Life goes on, and your heart can heal and learn to love again.  I thank God for my faith in love, my relationship with my daughters who were there by my side reminding me of the joy of living, and most important my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ and the grace and beauty of the Holy Mother Mary. In my darkest hours and my greatest moments, Jesus has always held me with His amazing grace and enduring love. Mother Mary has been a resource of compassion and grace throughout my life. She has been the safe haven when I needed the comfort of her Spirit. I am clear that I do not walk alone in this journey called life. I was also very fortunate to have done the EST Training in 1979. Participating in the training and then on to many of the programs and courses Werner Erhard created, laid the foundation for a successful and effective life. As a result of participating I got who I am at a very deep level. Instead of engaging in my life as a victim to the past, I have been able to move forward and create a wonderful and fulfilling life for myself and my daughters. I have a blessed life!

We play a part...

This is a passage taken from my favorite book--Love Without End-Jesus Speaks

This story reflects how I feel about my partnership with the Lord. He blesses me with abundance and great life, and I play my part by taking care of and tending to my life.

"There was a farmer who had a beautiful piece of property and a wonderful farm. Though the work had been hard, his crop was abundant. Close to harvest time he was standing alongside the tractor appreciating the bountiful yield when his minister drove up and parked beside him. The kind reverend gestured and remarked, "Son, God surely has blessed you with a beautiful farm." The farmer replied, "Well, Pastor, He has indeed, and I can't tell you how many times I have given thanks for it all. But you know what? You should have seen it when He had it all to himself!"

Stepping back in time a bit, I attended Catholic school until I went into the convent at 14 years old. I had asked the nuns at my school, St. Mary's, to help me write letters for submission into the Franciscan order of nuns. I was accepted at the very young age of 14 years old where I would become a aspirant, which is the first level of the seven levels to becoming an ordained nun. I absolutely loved being at The Franciscan Sisters of the Sacred Heart Convent, however, my time there was short lived. I was there for 9 months and then I became ill with kidney infection and had to go home to recover, and in fact was hospitalized for two weeks. It was quite an emotional break for me, as I really had my heart set on being a nun. In the two months it took for my recovery, I was able to get my heart clear and my mind moving forward.  The next year I registered at Mundelein High School to finish out my high school years.  

Shortly after high school I applied for a job at May's Drug Store where I met Dave. He was the chief pharmacist, and was also the person I was to interview with. This begins the story of Peggy and Dave. Which I will write more about in my next post.